1) You wish the people who do movie credits would start spelling stunt dubl the right way.

2) When helping a client find the right domain, you suggest she add “moz” to the legal business name.

3) The S, E, and O keys on your keyboard are broken.

4) When your son tells you he wants to go play in the sandbox, you tell him it doesn’t exist.

or

5) When your son tells you he wants to go play in the sandbox, you fear you won’t see him again for eight months.

6) You think the idea of spending four days in Chicago in December sounds fun.

7) You can pronounce Krasilovsky.

You giggle like a little girl every time you tell the butcher you’d like some pork Cuttlets.

9) Latent Semantic Indexing makes sense to you.

10) When your child asks you to explain the myth of Sisyphus, you tell her about the DMOZ submission process.

11) You lay awake at night wondering who would win a foot race: a marketing pilgrim or a marketing sherpa.

12) You feel uncomfortable and out of place at a minor league baseball game because you don’t see a Text Link Ads advertisement on the outfield wall.

13) At the same ball game, you wonder why the souvenir stand is only selling gray hats.

14) On a visit to the zoo, you realize that the graywolf, web guerilla, and randfish exhibits must be closed. You’re pissed about that.

15) You know the URLs for Search Engine Guide, Search Engine Herald, Search Engine Journal, Search Engine Lowdown, Search Engine Roundtable, and Search Engine Watch, and can explain the nuances which make each unique, not to mention rattle off the list of writers for each one, including those who write for more than one of them.

16) Following in the footsteps of Cartoon Barry, your brilliant idea for 2007 is to create an alter-ego for yourself called “SEO Shaft.” Your blog’s tagline will be “Can ya Digg it?”

17) You wish every search engine had a duplicate content filter as good as TiVo’s.

18) When your daughter brings home a new boyfriend to meet you, your first thought is to check his backlinks.

19) Your second thought is to warn them about the dangers of reciprocal linking.

20) You just wrote an article titled “50 Amazing Things For Sale in My Garage This Weekend.” You think the local paper will publish it. Or at least link to it.

21) You laughed at anything on this list!